Painted faces on parades. Perhaps what you see on the surface might not be. Look a little longer and you might find something deeper to those eyes.
Okay, basically. Yesterday sucks. Today is a little better?
YESTERDAY Went to the bus stop to take the shuttle bus instead of walking like I wanted to. Well, met most of the temp staffs there and talked to them. Then you came but you avoided the whole crowd. Just cos I was there? Idiot. You're the one who said we'll be good friends. -.- Anyways, so we talk and shuttle bus comes. Obviously everyone sits at their usual seats with the usual people they sit with. I honestly was hoping not to sit with you BUT as I walked towards you, was about to pass you but you moved in so I thought "Ah WTH I'll just sit with you." So fine. We sit. IN SILENCE. Throughout the whole journey. Well done with being friends huh. I can recite the conversations wehad yesterday cos it was damn few. Early in the morning: "Meh, choose a number from 1 to 49" "Woah, you buying 4D ah?" "Yea" "33" "Walau, all so close one."
Later in the day: "Meh, where's PY?" "There!!" "Woah I must be blind!" "Yea."
-.- How engaging. Isnt it? haha. It was damn painful yesterday. REALLY painful. It's like do I have to see you so soon after breaking up? OUCH! It's really torturous.
So after work obviously you go off with PY so I sat with the guys on the bus and I practically ran to the mrt station because I've been hurting the whole day. I mean it. WHOLE day. So I "ran" to the mrt station to meet Mr Khairul Hakim!!!!!!!!!! hahaha. Man, it's been months since I met this dude. So e go to AMK hub, eat and walk around. I was super emo cos all the shops and I mean ALL are playing those love songs and shit. So I was singing along and suddenly it'll hurt. haahaha. SAD. Anyways, we went to this shop 'Artbox'. DAMN nice notebooks they have there okay. I regret not buying. Nevermind. I'm buying one for myself soon :) Then he bought one for his GF. Then we walked around and headed home. I walked home. That route. Oh shit. That's the route where you held my hand. For the first time. I dont like it. Everywhere has memories of you okay. AMK hub. Oh please, that's the place with ALOT of memories. It's the place where you first kissed me. The place where we banged into people we know and didnt even realise? Were we that wrapped up in each other? So what happened? Hmmmm.
TODAY Today I made sure I was in time for the first bus. And thankfully PY was there! Love her loads! So I took first bus. You took 2nd. Okay, conversations. OH first we met. Toilet. You gave me a weird smile I gave you a weird smile back. I went back to my seat and then... "Meh, i ask you ah. Are you using M1?" "No..." "Okay" *walks away* 0.0<-----me
Next was during lunch time. I ate fried rice at my table with all the green chillies. "Woah, nice ah. I can smell it from my side. Are you gonna feed me?" (so I feed you) "Why you finish all the green chillies?" "Cannot meh." "Dont you find me very pretty today?" *points to hairband on the head* I burst out laughing. You make me laugh like shit okay. That's why I love you. Loved you. Okay, love you.
Hand signals. Offered you fishballs from OLD CHANG KEE. Brings back memories? Yes yes. On the very first night we were supposed to break up. 26th december 2007. Orchard road. The first time you tongued me. Shit.
So before you went off. "Not going home?" No respond so you poke me. "Not going home?" "Nope." "Oh so poor thing."
LOL. WTH. No bye bye okay. Nevermind. I feel more normal today. I guess.
I've thought it through. Perhaps it's God's way of working things out for me. I mean, we both know it's wrong but we continued. God knew that I wouldnt be able to resist so he did it for me. Perhaps it is in his plan to make this happen and since he always takes good care of me and he's never made a bad decision for me nor guided me the wrong way I'll go along with his plan without questioning him. God rocks my socks! See perhaps this is why we broke up and now I am so looking forward to poly life and meeting new people. Learning psychology. Everything.
My initial intention of working was to kill time and earn money. Then I got with you, it became to see you. Only work to see you. And to earn money to spend on you. Directly or indirectly. LOL. Now it is to...........??? I guess its cos I cant leave PY to drown without anyone doing redemption. I OT to avoid awkward situations of going home together. Man, what has Maybank done to me. haha. Well, I'm leaving soon. 14th March or earlier. But most probably 14th march is the day I leave maybank for good.
I dreamt that you scolded me. EEEEEEEEEEVIL! I'd be lying if I said it no longer hurts. It does. But I guess it has to get worse before it gets better. So like I said, let me hurt to the fullest then we'll start healing.
Moon river, wider than a mile I'm crossin' you in style some day Old dream maker, you heartbreaker Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way
Two drifters, off to see the world There's such a lot of world to see We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend My huckleberry friend, Moon River, and me
Nice old song (:
So put up the facades once again. They hide the hurt well so that you never know. After all, I dont wanna be somewhere where you can watch me as I bleed.