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{ Dreamer }
Definition:

1. a person who dreams.

2. a person who lives in a world of fantasy; one who is impractical and unrealistic.

3. a person whose ideas or projects are considered audacious or highly speculative; visionary.
{ Marianne }

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
It was always you.

{ Past. }

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 October 2012 January 2013 March 2013 July 2013 August 2013 January 2014 September 2014 January 2015 July 2015

{ Thursday, February 28, 2008 }

Today. Hmmmmmm.

I'm recalling things I shouldn't recall. Times we've had together. Things we did, things we said. The closeness of things. Shit. I'm far FAR from getting over you. I still love you I wont deny. We were something good. It was like THE turning point in my life. I was happy. Damn happy with you. Happier than anything in my life. I got my posting and I felt no joy. My mom literally jumped for joy but all I felt was "Okay, good. I got my first choice." But I still felt empty. It was really empty and it still is now. Sucks to be feeling this way. PY asked me at lunch. "Got over already?" And I told her "Never go and think about it" Which is BULLSHIT. I've been thinking about it the day it happened. I hate it that we went from super duper uber close to just colleagues. OH MAN. I miss you like MAD okay. I miss us. PLUS you're doing every single thing to make me jealous and I'm acting like I dont give a damn. ACTING.

sob story of my sad life.

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rear view mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes
Yeah...

[Chorus]
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

I've been dying inside,
Little by little,
No where to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles,
Running from my self until,
You gave me a reason for standing still

[Chorus]
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me


It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head

Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again

[Chorus]
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me


I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
Just running in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?

Why did you have to leave? Why did you have to set me free? Why did you have to go?

And it really doesnt help that my parents keep talking about you and asking me about you. Why you never walk me out, why we dont talk on the phone for hours anymore. Why this why that. Dont rub it in. It hurts alot. People tell me what you did was shit and that you treat me like shit and i should move on. But truth is, you were good to me. I know that. And I want to get over you it's just not happening at the moment. And your necklace still goes everywhere with me =/ Now all we do is have weird awkward talks and really weird exchanges of smiles. I really miss us. And you seem so fine after everything. Are you even hurt? Perhaps you're not. Perhaps I was right. Your expiry date came sooner than expected because you realised a manufacturing date for another. And so you leave me hanging.

Well, you cant lose what you never had. I never had you, so I cant lose you. You had me, you lost me and you dont seem to care.


{ fin }