{ Dreamer }

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
It was always you.

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 October 2012 January 2013 March 2013 July 2013 August 2013 January 2014 September 2014 January 2015 July 2015

Today, you half day-ed. Going for check up right? Good. My last week and you cant wait to see me leave. HAHA. Anyways, you tanned over the weekend huh. I can guess with who. And you probably enjoyed like hell. Surprisingly I dont feel much about that thought. Maybe I've finally come to realise you're no longer mine oh wait, have never been so all the vinegar doesn't really mean much at all.

Perhaps I miss it. that intimacy. Once you've been touched you're never going back. I dont just miss any intimacy. I miss the intimacy we had. How secure I was with your hands around me. Keeping me safe from the rest of the world. So safe that I let you lead me. Lead me into the deepest depths that I've never been to before. And I just cant resist. You've taught me so much and I've learnt well I guess.

I keep having flashbacks of what we were in my sleep. Last night's was 31st December 2007. How you laid your head on my shoulder and slept. How you put your arm around my neck hugging me as you slept. How you put your head on my chest to listen to my heartbeat. Back to how thrilled you were to know that I might be able to spend the night with you. How happy we were together squeezing with all the other people. Hand in hand. Amidst the crowd, we were the only two people there. We were happy and at that moment, I know you loved me. Something I definitely dont feel anymore. And that's what makes it hurt so badly I guess. Its like your love just stopped and you directed it to everyone else. I wonder which day tonight will bring me back to. Perhaps 26th december. That's when you took everything. Almost everything. Including your love.

Had a nice nice talk with PY on the train home. She reads people well. She knows I feel like the older one in the relationship with you. She's right. Because you have always been like a child. And that's partly why you are who you are. She knows you think highly of yourself. Then again, its because you have the criteria to. I guess this is why some feelings are mutual and some aren't. You're greedy in nature and I'm not enough. So you left and let emptiness fill me all of a sudden. It was too fast I guess. Everyday, I feel like I can finally move on and then everything dies. I want to do well academically but I know I wont get over this in time but I promise I'll not let it affect my studies.

Netball photos as promised (: More like dinner photos XD

I love, I write and I died. The weary one is still me. Cant you see its obsession? Oh desire, can cause heart attacks. Baby, all these shades of blue. Where I wait for you. Why did you have to leave? Why did you have to set me free? Why did you have to go? Close my eyes, see your face and nothing seems to ease the pain. Love, I repeat. I'm echoing all your philosophies. For you I am blinded. If it's alright, I'll still be loving you cos I cant break it to my heart. Put your brave face on, the one you wore when you stole my heart. It's a beautiful lie =/

{ fin }