Friday's here once again. It doesnt make a difference. I'm at home everyday. Boring life I have. Not that I dont wanna go out but somehow it seems like my mom's impression of me quitting my job and resting before school starts equates to staying home all day and doing housework for her -.- So every time I mention going out she gives me that face like I just told her I'm pregnant XD My mom happens to have a flair for exaggeration.
So i'm stuck at home most of the day. Night life huh. LOL. No no dont get me wrong. I feel like I'm becoming nocturnal. Or should I say I'm sleeping lesser and lesser? Because recently I refuse to go to bed before 2pm and i usually roll around in bed till 3 or 4am before my friends from lala land decide to come fetch me. Dont ask me what I do while I'm awake. I listen to songs and let my mind do its own fair share of churning out problems and solutions. HAHA.
Life is pretty amazing I guess. We all worry about things that seem so important to us while seeming so insignificant to others. I read a book today. Kite Runner. Damn good book. Why? It talks of war, family, relationships and life in itself. How pride makes things so difficult and how innocent suffer. Its haunting, yes. What striked a chord was the part on the orphanage. Where they already have limited space but they keep taking children in. I think that's what I wanna do really. I've always wanted to help out in orphanages. That's why church attachment I wanted an orphanage instead of an old folks' home. Its a calling. That's what everyone says and I'd agree. I really want to.
I also realised we're all selfish in our own ways. Sometimes to the point where we really neglect everyone else around us. We miss out on what's important to us. Right now I guess what's important to me is to get back to my drawing and reading. Maybe even my writing. Its important to me. Very important because its probably gonna get much of my heaviness out. It comes to the point again where I feel all alone yet I know in this loneliness I'm not alone.
So to everyone who's asked me what my purpose in life is, I've found the answer. I dont know yet. Perhaps I'm still finding it. Perhaps my purpose in life is finding that purpose. I dont know but we should all realise that God put us on earth for a reason and he sets all sorts of obstacles to us to make us stronger. So we'll leave it in his hands. For if you think about it, God has been taking damn good care of me all of my life. I've had the opportunity to meet great people, and have had a whole tight family (although at time I wished we werent so close a family as we are), my first job EVER turned out pretty good (: Maybank days I'll never forget, and well my 2 relationships werent that horrendous anyway. HAHA.
All in all, its a revelation to me today. That I am happy with my life at the moment and something tells me I'm gonna love my life even more when school starts and I start learning what I've always wanted to learn. (: And I'm ready for the emotional up and downs that I know will surely come no matter what. I'm ready! And as one of my good good friend Elfy use to say "Marianne is different. She does things in her own unique way." HAHA, thanks buddy.
I miss my secondary school all of a sudden. Ms Ng was the best. Although we laughed like hell at how her english wasn't that great we still respected her alot. And she was always there to give me encouragement. And I had a whole load of friends I knew I could depend on. No matter what happened. We just had this bond. 4E3, I miss you ALOT.