{ Dreamer }

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
It was always you.

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 October 2012 January 2013 March 2013 July 2013 August 2013 January 2014 September 2014 January 2015 July 2015

Today is a day that really made me happy for real the first time in a long while! It all starts off with meeting The Radicalists at Buddy (: Meeting the group never ever fails to bring a smile on my face.

I was late today as I went to return books where I saw _____________________ (Kenn!! you know who!) hahas XD Then I rushed off to Buddy. Saw Daniel at the bus stop! HAHA, he was damn shocked to see me luh! Then I went to buddy and could not put down my phone because I had 4 people smsing me at the same time. So when I was replying one person, the other 3 smsed over -.- It's never ending. We ALL finally ate something different today. We all had CHICKEN. Or as Elton would put it, "CHEEE KENN" hahahah! So somehow, Elton has to keep bickering with Tim about how much more fats Tim's chicken has than his own chicken. We finished eating and the waitress came to clear the table and HAHA! Tim tried to snatch the basket with the fork in it from her! And we all burst out laughing. Even the Waitress. It was a damn funny moment. Anyways, me, Elton and Azimi then went off to MINDS only tofind that they've shifted premises -.- What luck we had luh! HAHAS, so we walked back to Buddy and started on INTPSYCH instead XD

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO XUEQI MY DEAREST GUITAR MATE! Although our guitaring sucks, I think we still have alot of fun together! (: Cant wait for guitar fair and camp! TAKE MANY MANY PHOTOS! XD

Okay, back on topic. ELTON SEAH IS LOUSY! He couldn't find anything on research online hahah! While I found so many! LOLS. But yea, in the end we didnt use any of it ahhhh. LOL. So we decided on some stuff, but we hardly did anything. I think today's meeting was pretty unproductive although it was fun. Tim and Elton were so weary of each other because they were bullying each other and psychologically traumatising themselves XD Tim creeps up on Elton and bangs him from behind and gives him a shock. So Elton creeps up on Tim and pulls his hair XD It was damn funny. And because I like to people watch, I'd look as people walk pass behind Elton and he'd get scared thinking its Tim. These 2 guys are SUPER funny. AND we made fun of Tim and Cindy because they were on the couch while me, Elton and Azimi was on the chair (: AHAHAH!

Then later we were trying to get RONG CHENG to be nice but he wasn't! We ask him to tell us what bus brings us to City Hall and he refused to tell us ): Then he said that he and his friend Edward was also going there so we followed him. Then he said they're going to Bugis and we whacked him like mad. (SECRET: ELTON SEAH RONG CHENG IS AFRAID OF POKES AND TICKLES!! MUAHAHAHA!) Then we got off the bus at the "right" place cos it's City Hall bt we realised that Elton didnt tell us we had to get off at the Court area -.- So we WALKED!

Reaching there we went mad over guitars XD And she made me buy my white skinnys! $1.50 only ehhh!! HAHA, it's cheap! Then we walked to Burger King and ate there. We chatted over burgers and somehow I think tis is the first time we actually talked to each other instead of just small talk and I loved it! :D She made me realise that it's almost gonna be a year just by saying "Christmas is coming!" HAHAS. It's almost gonna be a year. I'm not gonna be stuck in the past forever. It's time to move ahead! (: After that we walked around hinting to each other about the nice nice things we want for our birthdays XD *bagpack* woohoo! HINTHINT! XD

So today has been a great day! I love my daring Cindy :D Girl, really wanna say thanks for today. I've been feeling so shitty the last few days it's great that today has cheered me up so much. And it's great to know you'll always be there for me (: Thanks girl!

I came home to find my parents, 3 new skirts and 2 new tops. Not too bad (: Thanks mommy, I love you! :D I'm happy they're back. I really am.

So on such a great note, I'd end today's post. Hope, lies in everything. It's time to move on ahead instead of looking back all the time, waiting for the impossible to happen. (: Things are gonna get better, I can feel it!

Oh, this is love (:

This is an Elton

loves!

Us, always (:

BURGERS RULE :D

Savouring each bite!

I love this hat (:

At last I can see, life has been patiently waiting for me. You, I shall delete completely from my life.

{ fin }

I've found the reason for this darned f-ed up feeling I'm having.

It's the knowing that you dont impact your friends' lives. Like you're just a passing phase in everyone's life. People get to know you and seem like they love you and in the end you realise they dont even take you as anything but just someone they can talk to when they feel sad or they feel lonely. It is at these times where you feel used and abused. It's at these times where you feel like you're just a tool in everyone's life. A tool for them to use when they need it and for them t dispose of when they dont need it.

I thought I would at least be a part of some people's life. Bt it seems I thought wrong. I try so hard sometimes, but get no where. I feel like I could just curl up in a corner and wither away like a wilted flower and no one would notice. Even if anyone noticed, they wouldn't care. They wouldn't bother. Why? Because she was just a passing phase. She was just someone nice to have around. She's just someone who brings life to the room yet everyone could live without.

So is there a damned reason for me to feel shitty? Hell yea. This is why.

She feels so small and so alone.

So insignificant like a clone.

They draw her near

In their times of fear,

They push her away

When they can finally play.

She feels like she's fading,

Fading without anyone noticing.

Soon, she knows, she'll vanish from Earth.

Away from the place she came to birth.

She feels the coldness embracing her.

She embraces it now in all her fear.

I wish things would get better. I just feel like I'm disappearing.

{ fin }

I'm feeling really tired today.

It started with waking up and realising I was late for children's liturgy ): Had a whole debate in my mind about whether to go for it or not. Guess what? God has a hold on me. I went in the end (: And well, it was pretty much alright. I stoned through sadly. Twin brought Eva along (: My sister-in-law XD She's a nice girl! I like her and approve of her a million times over. Anyways, we went to SUBWAY to eat after that. Me, twin, Eva, Tim and Kat. REMIND ME NEVER TO GO EAT LUNCH OR ANY MEALS WITH COUPLES EVER AGAIN. ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN I'M SINGLE! I was feeling so freaking out of place. I dont know. Oh wells. we did have fun though! Made some new friend.

Anyways, so we then went home and I left for sentosa but oh wells, plans change. I END UP GOING NETBALL and I dont regret it. I love it that I can still shoot the hoops (: All it takes is a little bit more practice. I still fall back in love withnetball easily (: S&W! So after that I went to my grandma's house to eat dinner and then went home, picked up my thumbdrive, went back o Lot 1 to meet HM pass it to her. Sit in Mac's and talk an then went home and here I am.

I miss alot of people. There's something bothering me and I dont know what it is. It's making me feel DOWN. DAMN DOWN. And right now I'm typing crap cos I'm damn tired. FREAKING tired! So goodnight people. I'm sleeping early tonight.

The Radicalists tomorrow!

FAMILY!

MEOW! The players :D

Last three photos taken with ZongWei's samsung soul. 5 megapixels. HAOLIAN! XD

I'm off to bathe. I love how I'm smelling now. I'm feeling like shit and I have no idea why. Feel so fed up with nothing in particular! Cold water. Cik Siti asked me for 'Break the Ice' -.- GREAT HUH. Goodbye people. Marianne's too cranky to type at the moment!

{ fin }

Today's post is about losing. Losing things important in life or even losing something bad in your life. It's all about losing.

I've lost a post yesterday. Losing a post isn't the heart of the matter. I've lost many posts before. Last night was my first night alone at home. It wasn't great or anything. I was online talking to Kenn and Leroy till 3+am. That also means, I lost sleep. Sleep that seemed so important to me. I lost it. I slept at 4+am.

Went for dinner with Sam, HM, Jem and his gf Wei Wei. It was an okay dinner. I see that Sam and James are _______________. But yea, its anothersad thing. Seems like friendship is near to being lost. Meeting them all again also proves how time causes us to lose the closeness of a group we used to have. Everything and everyone has changed somehow.

Today has been a weird day. My second day at home alone. Met Anuty Serene, Uncle Mike, grandma, grandpa and Getzel. They brought me to Jack's place!! OMG (: Yummy. I lost hunger. I seirously lost hunger for a few hours. Most importantly, I lost thought about you. I lost awareness that I was in causeway point. I went to kiddy palace with little Getzel. He's such a cutie. We soon went home. But before that my aunty asked if I'm still in contact with you. I dont know why. They keep binging you up. I lost the ability to block you out from my mind. I lost the ability to not think of things. I lost the courage to meet you and the fear crept in once again. I dont wanna see you anymore. I'm just not that strong.

So I came home and I lost the rest of the day to movies and the internet. I think Kite Runner is an amazing book. People should read it. And the should watch it too. It was made into a movie last year. It speaks about friendship, loyalty, and even touches on politics and the heirachy of things. It is one of the most amazing books of all time that brings out all sorts of emotions in people. Another good movie to watch is Lie With Me but only for thse of age XD Sexual content. It stars the girl who acted as Lara in The L Word. It is a movie about two people who randomly meet and at first have nothing but physical contact but soon realise that they've fallen in love with each other. What hits me in this movie is that it really brings out the feeling that someone gets when they truly love another and dont wanna be with anyone else besides that person. Lovely.

SIEWYI, I'M STILL MISSING YOU LIKE MAAAAD! JUST WANNA SAY I LOE YOU AND THANKS FOR ALL THE PIKACHU STUFF YOU DID (: SHOWS ME THAT YOU'RE THINKING OF ME EVEN WHEN YOU'RE AWAY. LOVE YOU LOADS WOMAN. COME BACK TO ME SOON :D

So today has made me realise that losing may not always be a bad thing. Not always. But most of the time is. Losing. Another thing, I feel like I'm losing everything I've thought to be good in my life. I wont explain this. I just feel like things have changed over the holidays. Everything feels different somehow. Am I the one who's changed? I really dont know. One last thing I'm losing, self confidence. There's so many things happening that's good but I keep telling myself its not to me. Its complicated and I cant seem to put to words what I'm feeling. I just feel lost, perhaps. Losing faith in everything.

You say you wander your own land

But when I think about it

I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking

And I can see the pain in your eyes

Says everybody's changing

And I don't know why

So little time

Try to understand that I'm

Trying to make a move just to stay in the game

I try to stay awake and remember my name

But everybody's changing

And I don't feel the same

You're gone from here

And soon you will disappear

Cause everybody's changing

And I don't feel right

So little time

Try to understand that I'm

Trying to make a move just to stay in the game

I try to stay awake and remember my name

But everybody's changing

And I don't feel the same

So little time

Try to understand that I'm

Trying to make a move just to stay in the game

I try to stay awake and remember my name

But everybody's changing

And I don't feel the same

You cant lose what you never had. I'm learning.

{ fin }

Today is an alright day I guess.

I'd talk about Juliet if I had anything nice to say but no, I dont so I wont talk about Juliet.

I climbed a toilet cubicle today. I think that's the climax of the day.

I dont really know what to type so this is a sort of peek preview.

I think Caryn's super funny. 15+3=18 XD Simple as that and she thought till such a complex formula! And Balu has a baluku XD Hilarious!

This is a dress being hung okay.
Always a shoulder to lean on (:

*cuddles!*

The cubicle climbers!

And we all survived :D

HORNY! Red bull makes you horny! XD

And in case some people doesnt know what to do during lectures...

You be matchmaker XD

And take photos of people when tey dont even know -.-

HAHA, please, do not be decieved by these photos XD He's nice in a weird way like I said before and so many times.

Messaging James again. He says he might not be meeting us tomorrow because he might be playing basketball with his friends after his paper -.- LOLS. And now he says hell go because I said I miss everyone XD Instead of my own selfish reason of relieving stress! hahah, whatever man. Lame as ever. I admit, I do miss him quite a bit (: As a friend who's there. :D

Achievement: We scared people from the toilet today.

Whatever you. I dont care anymore. I'm ready to just go on with life.

{ fin }

Photos from last wednesday first. Vivo's rooftop (:

That's me.

That's scary me.

That's not so scary me

WHATEVER

I look happy on the bench (:

Rock on!

Look carefully. I like this pucture. I look so freaking hurt.

How I look upside down

I'm the boss.

I dunno what's happening XD

On top of the world

rolls eyes

BIRTHDAY BOY!

Geraldina, Edmund & Me

legs!

Oooh, butts.

Just the three of us ;)

This is a high level pose okay. Blood flows to the brain!

WIND!

I do love them.

I like this pic of us!

DAO!

THE THREE MUSKATEERS! (:

That's us!

me!

Spreading the yoga love

Love the specs (:

Love (:

Buddies

3 Individuals

One group

One shameless one XD

Many kisses

Loads of fun

No turning back

So that's it for the photos. There's more but we hooked fingers on not posting up unglam pics sooooo yea. That's about it.

So break from blogging last night because I was really not in the mood to blog and stuff. Somehow it's just not the right mood these days.

Today was a bad day for me. I awoke being early for scool and was happy about it. BUT my mom was late for work so ended up rushing just so that my dad could send both of us to the mrt station. We got to the mrt statin and I realised I didnt bring my freaking wallet out of the house. So my dad was beig super nice so he sent me home and back to the mrt station. So I went off thinking the restof the day would be nice and just happy. BUT who knows, it's that time of the month so I started getting my cramps AND my stomach was rolling because I had BIG business to do with the toilet. SO I met Sarali at the station and we took train together. I told her I was gonna run off to the toilet at Batok so I'll be really late for class. And that's exactly what I did but managed to get to class on time still! HAHA so we get to class. Nellie was fun fun fun.

AND then it started again! My lappy couldn't get internet connection for half of the whole ITABS lesson. WTH. So I was getting really pissed and decided to get help from Nellie so I called her and asked her to come over and FINALLY, my internet started working. So we went to buy coffee and came up. I put down the coffee on the table and then got into my seat and my bloody knee kicked the damned table and so my coffee spilled. EVERYWHERE. On my lappy, on the table, on the floor, on my skirt, on cndy, on my lappy casing, on Cindy's lappy casing. EVERYWHERE. WTH! I was really upset ): It's like one bad thing after another!

So the rest of the day was quite okay. We'e got MILLIONS of projects XD But I think we'll be able to make it! I think I scared Elton when I was so serious during WRICOM today. I dont know why but somehow I didnt feel like laughing. Sorry if I scared anyone. I think Ms Emily is fun. She's pretty, tanned, witty, smart, intellectual and cute. Right, kenn? :D I'm sure we'll have fun with her. Cindy says Ms Emily's like me in the sense that she talks to herself and laugh at herself at times. MMMMHMMMMM.

My phone has been pretty H-O-T tonight.

1) Sam calls

2) Hui Mui calls

3) Ah Tao calls

4) Dalziel messages to ask if I'm free to chat

OMG. Non-stop okay. Anyways, happier things. I smsed James and we sort of messaging to and fro. I can still see why I loved him once. Not that I have any more feelings for him. Absolutely NOT. For those who know why, shhhh. But yea, I still see the charm and x factor in him (: Study hard dude!

Last night I was talking to Weisheng. He's such a nice fella to ask me if I'm feeing better after guitar (: Nice. So we talked about some stuff and woohoo! Hurray to maltesers! He made my day okay. Nice guys like him are hard to find :D Saw Xueqi at the bus stop this morning! HAHA :D

Today, at least 2 good things happened. Cindy and I saw the curly hair guy with the nice eyes and tall!!! on our way to canteen 4. HAHA. He's superbly good looking okay? I'd fall for him if I wasn't ________________________. HAHA. Second good good good thing is I walked past PIKACHU!! Yes, pikachu who has been missing from my life for so long decides to walk beside me in the opposite direction. (: Still as goooooood looking as ever! Heh. Three quarts and pikachu still looks hot. Cuteness, redefined.

Last of all, I finally got to message my dearest SIEWYI!! again today. WOMAN, I MISS YOU LIKE MAAAAD!!!!!!! IT FEELS LIKE FOREVER SINCE WE'VE TALKED!! I SERIOUSLY MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU LOTS!!!! (:

I know you know. That's why you did what you did. It hurts so bad but I know its the right move. Thanks, I guess.

{ fin }