I'm surprised myself to be blogging now. I'm just so unsure because of the thing I heard about.
If I confront her, I know it'll ruin the night so I wont. But still, I really felt betrayed when I heard of it from Steffy. I know I can trust Steffy. I've known her since primary school days. She's the most sincere and genuine person, doesn't put on fake fronts. So I know she wouldn't lie to me about such things. I can hardly believe it. I'm trying to find strength in me to forgive but how do you forgive someone when they act as your good GOOD friend and go around telling other people lies about you and even spreading things about you they promised never to tell? And not only that but still put on such a fake front whn we meet face to face in school? I cant believe such people exist. What more, I learnt about it at a difficult period of my life not so long ago. When I felt like I had no one to turn to but my friends and then find out that this supposedly good friend of mine betrayed me this way. Can you imagine the sort of despairity I was in? The only source of comfort I had was taken away from me because of her. It's dumb. But no, I will not confront her about it.
I fear that my anger would get out of hand. Yet, why shouldn't it? I'm looking forward though. Looking forward. I really would lik to hear that its not true but hey, I'm sure it is.
Tonight shall be a wonderful celebration for my buddy Edmund Ng (: It's been so long since the 3 musketeers of 1E3 & 2E3 have met up and had a nice long chat :D Geraldina, Edmund and Marianne. You can tell how much we've changed from sec 1 till now. ALOT OF DIFFERENCE. Let's start with Geraldina. She used to be a super tomboy who wouldn't wear any girly stuff but I guess she's alot girlier these days XD She's still got that attitude of hers though. (And if you two ever met, you guys would be head to head. I see the collision in attitudes.) Edmund has slimmed down alot, much more well dressed now and hmmmm, grown up :D As for me, regardless. I've changed the most probably. I used to be the shy-est person on earth. Then I did emceeing and gained confidence with a boyfriend. Then I broke up and went off to JC which completely pulled my self esteem back to negative 200. Then I withdrew from JC and went off to work, became happy. Got into another relationship, changed TOTALLY XD Then that relationship ended pretty abruptly but my self esteem didnt dip this time because I benefitted from that relationship I guess? After all, "Girls should dress up and look nice." right? LOL. So now, I'm what I am because of all these factors huh. One day I'll type out the story of my life XD
I think my life is pretty interesting. I've been through ALMOST everything a teenager can go through and I'm happy. Through these 17++ years of my life at least even if I die today, I'm sure I can say that I have made a good bunch of really great people and a handful of true true true true true TRUE friends (: I wont mention names because I'm pretty sure they know who they are (:
A different shade of fear hangs with me today as things go on. Life in itself is unpredictable. I've learnt to never expect anything anymore because things might just turn out differently. So, ALL HAIL THE UNPREDICTABLE AND WONDROUS THING WE CALL LIFE.
To my dearest SIEWYI DARLING, I'm here for you and you know it. If your heart breaks, mine does too. I'll always be there to sink, die, emo, go underground with you. Just remember to pull me along! No matter wat, I love you :D You're one of the best things that has happened in my life and I want you to be strong and be okay. I know its not easy but just know that I know exactly how you feel okay? So my dear girl, cheer up. Somehow, they're just not worth it.
"With every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love." I still wonder. I'd like to meet you again somewhere, someday.