I've found the reason for this darned f-ed up feeling I'm having.
It's the knowing that you dont impact your friends' lives. Like you're just a passing phase in everyone's life. People get to know you and seem like they love you and in the end you realise they dont even take you as anything but just someone they can talk to when they feel sad or they feel lonely. It is at these times where you feel used and abused. It's at these times where you feel like you're just a tool in everyone's life. A tool for them to use when they need it and for them t dispose of when they dont need it.
I thought I would at least be a part of some people's life. Bt it seems I thought wrong. I try so hard sometimes, but get no where. I feel like I could just curl up in a corner and wither away like a wilted flower and no one would notice. Even if anyone noticed, they wouldn't care. They wouldn't bother. Why? Because she was just a passing phase. She was just someone nice to have around. She's just someone who brings life to the room yet everyone could live without.
So is there a damned reason for me to feel shitty? Hell yea. This is why.
She feels so small and so alone.
So insignificant like a clone.
They draw her near
In their times of fear,
They push her away
When they can finally play.
She feels like she's fading,
Fading without anyone noticing.
Soon, she knows, she'll vanish from Earth.
Away from the place she came to birth.
She feels the coldness embracing her.
She embraces it now in all her fear.
I wish things would get better. I just feel like I'm disappearing.
{ fin }