It was always you.
Today has been a weird day. My second day at home alone. Met Anuty Serene, Uncle Mike, grandma, grandpa and Getzel. They brought me to Jack's place!! OMG (: Yummy. I lost hunger. I seirously lost hunger for a few hours. Most importantly, I lost thought about you. I lost awareness that I was in causeway point. I went to kiddy palace with little Getzel. He's such a cutie. We soon went home. But before that my aunty asked if I'm still in contact with you. I dont know why. They keep binging you up. I lost the ability to block you out from my mind. I lost the ability to not think of things. I lost the courage to meet you and the fear crept in once again. I dont wanna see you anymore. I'm just not that strong.
So I came home and I lost the rest of the day to movies and the internet. I think Kite Runner is an amazing book. People should read it. And the should watch it too. It was made into a movie last year. It speaks about friendship, loyalty, and even touches on politics and the heirachy of things. It is one of the most amazing books of all time that brings out all sorts of emotions in people. Another good movie to watch is Lie With Me but only for thse of age XD Sexual content. It stars the girl who acted as Lara in The L Word. It is a movie about two people who randomly meet and at first have nothing but physical contact but soon realise that they've fallen in love with each other. What hits me in this movie is that it really brings out the feeling that someone gets when they truly love another and dont wanna be with anyone else besides that person. Lovely.
SIEWYI, I'M STILL MISSING YOU LIKE MAAAAD! JUST WANNA SAY I LOE YOU AND THANKS FOR ALL THE PIKACHU STUFF YOU DID (: SHOWS ME THAT YOU'RE THINKING OF ME EVEN WHEN YOU'RE AWAY. LOVE YOU LOADS WOMAN. COME BACK TO ME SOON :D
So today has made me realise that losing may not always be a bad thing. Not always. But most of the time is. Losing. Another thing, I feel like I'm losing everything I've thought to be good in my life. I wont explain this. I just feel like things have changed over the holidays. Everything feels different somehow. Am I the one who's changed? I really dont know. One last thing I'm losing, self confidence. There's so many things happening that's good but I keep telling myself its not to me. Its complicated and I cant seem to put to words what I'm feeling. I just feel lost, perhaps. Losing faith in everything.