I think sleep has a good effect on thought. I went to bed lat night fuming and realising I couldn't sleep. I thought about it and realised that it's dumb. I'm clearly at fault somehow but I just didnt see it till last night ): I can be so blind at times ): I'm really sorry! I stayed up last night til about 5am because I couldn't sleep. I cried about it. Cried over it. My eyes feel so swollen now. ): But I'm really glad it's almost over.
To you: I really wated to talk to someone last night and I couldn't think of anyone else but you. So I drafted the whole sms to send to you but ended up not sending it to you. I really waned to talk to you over the phone again but just as friends this tme around. You're wise and always had the right things to say when it was really needed. But I didnt send it. You have a new life for so long now. And I bet she wouldn't wanna find out that you're talking to your ex girlfriend in the middle of the night so yea. I decided I shouldn't send it so I stayed up by myself and read my book.
So I see the sun once again. Things are lookiing bright and sunny! (: I believe things are so gonna get better after tomorrow. I just know it will.
Anyway, thanks to everyone who's been trying so freaking hard to cheer me up and especially to this one person who talked things through with me and kept trying every night to cheer me up. Thanks LOADS. And of course to my dearest love of my life, SIEWYI!! I love you loads! And thanks for listening to my side of the story (: I really think things are gonna be fine. Like he said "You shouldn't just give up on a friendship just like that." THANK YOU!
This morning was a really happy morning. Went to church and cleared up alot of things that have een kept in for a superlong time. I told Steffy the truth about things and she said she knew already actually but she knew that she wasn't supposed to know so she didnt question me about it. And to my dearest friend whom I've known since I was NURSERY 2, JOLENTA WONG CHUN YAN! DONT FORGET OUR DATE!! WE HOOKED FINGERS! (: Love you, girl! Study hard! And I saw JOHN!! hahaha, he's always popping back up in Singapore without letting me know! HMPHS! I saw the whole kuching gang again today (: LOVE THEM. Yes, I hug random people who I dont even know their names. LOLS. Hey, I'm friendly XD
Afternoon I had the YUMMIEST indan cuisine EVER. Thanks to Auntie Sharon (: YUMMILICIOUS, LIKE SERIOUSLY! ahahah. I had to go for like 3 helpings! Couldn't help it. I just couldn't resist! XD Then spent like a super the duper long time in Westmall doing absolutely nothing. Bought OLD CNG KEE FISHBALLS! HAHA.
I did some self reflectin in church today ad realised, I've changed too much. That's why everything's becoming shit. I'm gonna let things go. Prioritse and learn that sometmesit ain't bad to admit that you're wrong. So I'm sorry to everyone I've been hurting the past few weeks.
FUN FACT! Someone came up to me and said "Hey marianne! You knw there's this girl called _____________ from my school who takes the same subject combination as me asked me if I knew a MARIANNE CHAN from st mary of the angels church because she chanced upon your blog! And she said she saw photos and thought you looked damn pretty. " LOL. I really dont know whether to laugh or to cry. This is so freaking messed up. RAH. I wanna ignore it, I really do. Because I know nothing's gonna come out of it but sometimes its really hard to not feel anything. Maybe staying away would help. But how to? HAI. I really dont have the strength for this.
I really hope 1B01 will stop emoing soon. The class seems so gloooooomy these few weeks. ): We must be HAIRPEEE PEOPLE! MUST! (: I love this class and I dont like seeing it so down and blue and mooody ): RAH. I'm being influenced. We must all be happy! Then we can get into lala land right? They dont allow emo people unless Mr. "nice" decides to favour you like he favoured me! XD
You think you know me think i give a damn The boy who was foolish has made me a man Is it wrong that i don't care that i don't want you anywhere Near my face near my friends Don't shed a tear when my life ends
Well i told you not to call me cause I just cant stand your voice And all it takes is your name mentioned to ignite the fear of suffering Dont even say you're sorry cause i know it's all a lie Here's goodbye forever can't you just give me just a little Room to breathe (can't you just leave it alone now) Give me just a little room to breathe (don't you think you've taken enough now)
Nothing you say now can change anything I don't care how you feel i don't care what you mean Save it all for someone else You can drag them through your hell For all i care and i don't You killed me once wasn't that enough
Can't get far enough away
Well i told you not to call me cause i just can't stand your lies I said goodbye forever can't you give me just a little room to breathe
DD, just go away. I dont like this feeling because I just know it aint right. Stop being so freaking nice. You're winning and its too scary! Unless perhaps I'm using you as cover for the one I dont wanna miss. But it doesnt seem like the case. I'm gonna push it aside. Push it all aside, keep it inside, save to hide. Cos if anyone finds out, I'm dead.