Well, pardon any language that might come out because I'm really feeling quite pissy right about now.
Firstly, it doesnt help. I've tried so freaking hard to make sure everything is fine. I really try. I've tried to the point that I'm damn stressed out from it all. I'm so so sick and tired of it. I've spent hours trying to understand things and every single time I find it in me to just let it go but this time you make it so darned obvious. You hate me. I dont know why. & you know what? It doesnt matter anymore. Like I said I'm tired. To you I'm just some passing phase in your life for you to toss aside. And I dont know how you do it but you always seem to find a brilliant way to make it seem like its all my fault. Well, guess what? I've been trying so freaking hard, but I wouldn't complain if it weren't the fact that I'm trying alone. Freaking alone. I dont like trying alone, damn it. Problem is, you dont really give a shit do you? I just wish I knew what to do sometimes. And guess what? You've made me think of this all over again. You made me ask God why make me so different from everyone. Why make me so different, so weird and so so out of place? Once again, why is a cursed question. I dont know what I'm feeling now. I'm pissed, I'm frustrated, I'm stressed and I'm confused. & they all say is because of that. If it is, then it's dumb. Pure stupidity on bot our parts.
Secondly, everything's pretty messed up right now. 7 days without rainbow is gonna kill me, really. So much is piling up. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. I'm just at the point where I feel like dropping everything and just dying. RAHHHHH. I wouldnt say I hate life now though. Life is hopeful I guess. At least I have a small lifeline I've been holding on to. A tiny one that's gonna be cut off soon enough ): Whatever. I know wat I have in life and I'm happy with it. It's just some things you just dont wanna give up without a fight. & our friendship is that one thing I dont wanna give up without a fight. So fight with me, will you?
AUTOMATIC LOVELETTER - THE ANSWER
From ocean to sky
Summer and Fall
I have been there though it all
From laughing and crying
to pain that comes easy
from shades of grey meaning that turn out so sweetly
i wonder when i wonder what ill find
I look up to the sun
it only hurts my eyes
maybe its the answer ive been wanting in disguise
the more you are with me
the more that im alone
i dont need the answer i already know
Subtle and grace
desperate for change
my hand moves away melt dry eyes for days
Something's not right
smiles and tantrums hit the ground running
its all over and been done
I wonder when I wonder what ill find...
I look up to the sun
it only hurts my eyes
maybe its the answer ive been wanting in disguise
the more you are with me
the more that im alone
i dont need the answer i already know
What happens next
we'll stop and go
the promises has already run cold
so now you know now you know
I look up to the sun
it only hurts my eyes
maybe its the answer ive been wanting in disguise
the more you are with me
the more that im alone
i dont need the answer the Answer
I look up to the sun
it only hurts my eyes
maybe its the answer ive been wanting in disguise
the more you are with me
the more that im alone
i dont need the answer i already know
& tell me why it has to be this way. Feel so shitty.