What's the point? I feel so idiotic trying to organize a gathering for people who cant be bothered. You, you disappoint me. I wanted to remember why I loved you. WHY. I mean, I understand if its Sam cos he's always been like that. The world revolves around him, everthing is about him. But you, I was hoping you'd have changed. Be a different person from what Sam's been telling me you are. URGH. You just leave the conversation and even if you're in it you dont talk or anything. You know what? I see it now. You're a loser. You dont treasure friendships. You dont try to make an effort or even fake an effort to be part of a group. Our group. This group that's supposed to be your's and not mine but has now become mine nd not your's cos you try so hard to distance yourself from it. Forget it. I feel so assholic and dumb trying to make you attend these gatherings. And each time you give excuses and shit You're never around.
And wth. I dunno anything? Maybe. Perhaps I really dont. I dnt know anything about anyone's life. I feel so far away from this group that I once loved so much because we were bonded through relationships and tangles but we still stayed a group. No matter what our history was we stayed together. But now, its just faling part in my face. Somehow it feels like I'm the only one who sees the group as such. So maybe everyone's moved on or something. But hey, its a group that meant alot to me and it still means alot to me nd it sucks to see everyone going away from it and being so far away.
So seriously, I really think that I know nothing of anyone anymore. Like seriously, forget it. If you're not interested you can just tell me. Like tell me you dont wanna meet up because you dont feel comfortable with them anymore. Although I dont see how that happens when you were all in the same freaking cca. I'm the one who's the outsider of the group. I'm the one who should feel left out. I'm the one who should feel uncomfortable. Its been 3 years. 3 years since anything happened between us. Its been 3 years since we've had a proper outing together. 3 years doesnt change anything. You're still te same. You dont take responsibility for anything an whatever you dont think you can handle you escape. Loser.
I'm tired. Tired of clearing up your shit. I cant be bothered anymore.