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{ Dreamer }
Definition:

1. a person who dreams.

2. a person who lives in a world of fantasy; one who is impractical and unrealistic.

3. a person whose ideas or projects are considered audacious or highly speculative; visionary.
{ Marianne }

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
It was always you.

{ Past. }

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 October 2012 January 2013 March 2013 July 2013 August 2013 January 2014 September 2014 January 2015 July 2015

{ Thursday, January 26, 2012 }

To think I almost gave up on this.

I'm always happy when he's around. So how could I ever give this up? (: I'm gonna enjoy myself for now.


{ fin }


{ Tuesday, January 24, 2012 }

Because everyone leaves in the end. I believe I'm the hardest person for anyone to be with.


{ fin }


{ }

This is a horrible feeling. And what feeling is this? Its called feeling completely alone, like there's no one who knows me. Like I could just fade away and it wouldn't matter.

I need to disappear, vanish. Or die.


{ fin }


{ }

Oh, watch as I tumble down into the inferno of burning flames.

Watch as I shut the doors to just about every opportunity I had. Watch as I hold the syringe and squeeze the poison into my arm.

Pretty sure its gonna be another sleepless night.

Destiny, Melancholy.


{ fin }


{ Monday, January 23, 2012 }

Nightmare after fucking nightmare. Waking up in tears isn't as interesting as it sounds. Fantastic.


{ fin }


{ }

The seed is growing. Tired already but don't feel like sleeping. At some point, I need to figure this out in my mind. The night is not doing me any good l: and tomorrow would be another awkward day. Heheh awesome stuff. I just don't know how anyone can be as socially awkward as me. I'm pretty sure I have some social disorder. Lol. Okay, more tomorrow if I'm eternally bored. In the meantime, don't let me get me.


{ fin }


{ Sunday, January 15, 2012 }

Seeing my friends getting engaged to their boyfriends makes me feel sad.

Not that I'm not happy for them or not happy with Shaiz right now but seriously, we're nowhere near being engaged and we are definitely not going to get engaged without either one of us loses all contact with the family.

Also, seeing my cousin bring her boyfriend every single family occasion makes me enraged at my own family. And also gets me so freaking upset.

I mean, he's a great guy and all but I just hate how every single person in the family assumes that he'll come for all the family gatherings, just takes him in as a part of the family. And my parents? They assume that he'll come to our house if she's coming and they welcome him with open arms. While my boyfriend? They don't welcome him into the house. They don't even care to talk to him and find out what kind of boy he is.

And all these is really upsetting me right now. I'm finally fucking happy with life and finally find a person who treats me right, who loves me with all his heart and I can't even be completely happy. And my family, well they call him my friend. Well, I hate it. Sometimes I really do ask myself why he has to be in a different religion. Why he has to be of a different race. Why am I in this relationship? Because honestly, there's hardly anything I can do about it and marriage/engagement is completely out of the question. I should just up and leave right now but I've already invested so much. And he really makes me so so happy.

So I continue knowing that the day will come when everything will just come to a standstill. A crossroad that'll leave both of us torn and completely fucked.

I want this to not exist but it does and one day, it'll all come true. Trust me, it will.


{ fin }


{ Saturday, January 14, 2012 }

Haha, so realised my mistake.

Howl by Allen Ginsburg. Not Carl Simon or Carl Solomon. HAHA

Anyway, feeling superbly happy with my 6 month long relationship (: Awesome stuff hehe. He's just freaking amazing and so much of my life the past 6 months have been good because of him. All the memories and crazy things we do, it'll mean something to me always.


{ fin }


{ Monday, January 9, 2012 }

So Catcher in the Rye, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close bought. Together with Howl by Carl Simons. Watching Howl the movie converted me. Hearing it read out loud was breath-taking and thought invoking.

So yes, books bought! $56 hehe. AWESOME SHIZZZ.

Anyway, so plans with the boy to go swimming and I finally found my outfit for a special celebration hehehe. Think its pretty awesome. Its like becoming one with myself. If I had overalls it would've been more awesome but still, pretty fabulous :D

Okay, so might be meeting the boy tomorrow (:

So much positivity! Let tomorrow be awesome.


{ fin }


{ Wednesday, January 4, 2012 }

Today I've recapped my Primary 6 Science and Mathematics. I am awesome (: Feeling pretty good about almost everything besides health.

Plus, looking through all the books on Kinokuniya's website, I WANNA BUY ALLOFIT! But no, $100 max. No more, no less. I will stick to this or die.

Well, 2 books I'm getting for sure is Never Let Me Go and Catcher in The Rye (:


{ fin }


{ Monday, January 2, 2012 }

Feeling super happy. Its nice I guess that people now invite us as a couple. LOL.

Oh yes, 6 months coming soon :D

Would really like to go on a holiday with himmmm.


{ fin }