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{ Dreamer }
Definition:

1. a person who dreams.

2. a person who lives in a world of fantasy; one who is impractical and unrealistic.

3. a person whose ideas or projects are considered audacious or highly speculative; visionary.
{ Marianne }

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
It was always you.

{ Past. }

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 October 2012 January 2013 March 2013 July 2013 August 2013 January 2014 September 2014 January 2015 July 2015

{ Wednesday, May 23, 2012 }

There are 2 things I'd like to say and I'm gonna start with the one that's easier to type about.
Shaiz's commissioning was today :D Feel super proud of him. His parents picked me up from the bus stop and we headed over to Home Team Academy. Seeing him there in his Number 1 uniform made me feel so proud. I guess its also because I've seen him though all of his NSF life so far so I see the growth, the pain, the difficulties and all. 

Parade was boring. Hahaha, the music was once again amusing because it is so unfitting to the occasion. Anyway, it was hot like hell. It was fun though seeing his parents fix his new rank. Oh, and the number of stares I got because I was the only chinese in the whole family of malay. LOL. 
Next proud moment was when I saw 4 of his best buddies from DVP appear (: Why proud to see his friends, you might ask? Proud, so proud to know that my boy has brothers to depend on and who support him. None of them said they could make it and in the end, 4 of them turned up. The love his friends have for him is so so comforting and they're like a whole new group of people I've come to know.

So yes, proud proud moments (:

So here comes the part that's a little harder to type about.

We went for a double date and till now its bugging me. It all began when we met the other couple, the girl being his best friend. I got jealous, which is really not something I feel very easily but I was. And even though I know in my heart that they really have a platonic relationship, I couldn't help but read into every little thing.

I began overthinking the whole time we were with them. Comparing myself with her. And I guess I was overwhelmed because they had so many stories to share about each other. I felt small, insignificant. Like I could have not gone for it and it would still have been fine.

Jealousy took over me that night. And I don't like how it feels because I was even to the point of  being pissed when I said I really had to pee and he didn't hear because he was talking to her. 

I love that he has a girl bestfriend, I really do but that night it just scared me that I could feel that inferior to another person when my relationship with him is so strong. But I do know that I was over reacting, over thinking. It just scared me, that's all.

So that's it. I love him so so much (:


{ fin }