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{ Dreamer }
Definition:

1. a person who dreams.

2. a person who lives in a world of fantasy; one who is impractical and unrealistic.

3. a person whose ideas or projects are considered audacious or highly speculative; visionary.
{ Marianne }

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
It was always you.

{ Past. }

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 July 2012 October 2012 January 2013 March 2013 July 2013 August 2013 January 2014 September 2014 January 2015 July 2015

{ Thursday, January 1, 2015 }

As we ushered in the 2015, I felt a mixture of feelings. Feelings of sadness, feelings of joy, feelings of confusion an feelings of fear.

2014 has been an amazing year with everything going on in my life, its a wonder how I can still feel unhappy about it. I have the love story of a lifetime to tell. I've become a better friend in 2014. I have been challenged and faced up to those challenges with grace and maturity. And yet, I am unhappy.

Unhappy because I know what 2015 brings. Heart break. I know 2015 is going to be a year where I will be broken into a million pieces and only then will I be able to start reparation of myself.

I've experienced, for the first time in my life, what it feels like to be a cheater. Albeit not committing the crime itself, I came close to it. Feeling a connection and closeness so strong it confused me and threw me off guard. And knowing that if it had not been for the fact that I was attached, I would have fallen. Quickly and surely as I always do.

And that is the problem.

This is why I start 2015 with a heavy heart. A heart preparing itself for self-destruction. A heart preparing itself for isolation, for numbing and a heart that has to understand that it has broken another person. That things will end and it will be inevitable.

Thank you 2014 for the lessons learned, the experiences shared, the many pleasures I have been blessed with.

Heart, this is going to be a tough year but in the end, we always survive.


{ fin }